Fun times with weapons

I once read this newspaper article that said London is currently like New York in the 80s. What I hoped this meant was that there were 4 vigilantes with ninja weapons dressed as turtles running round the city.
It didn't mean this at all.

But I'm not here to talk about "facts and newspaper articles and world affairs". Today I'm discussing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 and 3 (the movie sequels).
(Just as a quick fact when it came to the cartoons Ninja was used in America. Hero was used in the UK as Ninja was deemed too violent sounding for kids).

I'm not going to review the movies (the negative critique would put a downer on the article) so as per usual I'm going to write about the movie's plus points.

1) The Turtles are comedy characters who occasionally take down their advesaries with wet willies.
2) The never use their weapons for fighting, Leonardo is more likely to cut a rope bridge with his sword than stab someone.
3) Splinter the rat looks more like a weasel (than a rat).
4) Both films feature the turtles doing bad ass dance routines.
5) A super hip hop soundtrack is involved and proved once again it is a necessity.
6) No one dies apart from the lead bad guys.
7) The Turtles have the best pithy banter ever.

(Specific to 2nd film)
A) Vanilla Ice is in it.
B) Hopefually that shitty side kick kid never worked again.



(specific to 3rd film)
A) In 17th Century feudal Japan everyone speaks 90s coloquial American.
B) It just seems random that they end up going back in time.
c) Turtles 3 doesn't really follow on from 2.
D) The actor who plays Casey Jones in Turtles 3 plays another part which means the film has a crappy budget.



The only things I didn't like about the two sequels are: Casey Jones is in the third one and doesn't beat up anyone (that's all he's good at). And in the 2nd one the Bebop and Rocksteady mutants are replaced by shitty mutants.
Still both movies are better than that stupid live action Turtles series with that fifth female Turtle.

So in conclusion humans have fought for hundreds of years. Then giant human turtle hybrids have been around a relatively short time and bring peace through fighting. Thus they are the next evolutionary step.
(Splinter is just an evolutionary mess, like the animals found in Australia).
This proves to me the 90s was a new exciting time for film.