You never get remixes like this for songs from the UK.

This absolutely proves to me that Avril Lavigne is cool.



Now which is the emoticon for knowing cynicism or irony?

The curse of Thandie Newton

Hey everyone how have you been?
You've probably noticed I haven't updated this in weeks, that's because I haven't had anything to say - you see nothing interesting has happened it's all been very boring.

That was until today when I went to the cinema, where (as well as seeing a film) I also saw a trailer for Simon Pegg's new movie Run Fat Boy Run.
Now I find Simon Pegg a funny guy. I also find Dylan Moran who he is co starring with a funny guy. But the trailer looked remarkably unfunny and I couldn't work out what could ruin the comedic combination of Pegg and Moran.


And then I saw it - Thandie Newton.

Now I'm not saying that Thandie Newton is a terrible actress who can't act in films - that's just mean - I'm just saying any film she is in becomes crap. She is like the albatross from the Rime (spelt correctly) of the Ancient Mariner (you shoot her with a camera (not crossbow) and immediately your film becomes cursed).

Anyway enough of that let's look at the body of evidence to back up my theory (please bear in mind I'm only using films I've actually seen).

2006 The Pursuit of Happyness - Will Smith plays on human emotions and tries to win an Oscar.

2005/2004 ER - Yes that's right she starred in the TV show ER, infact she conveniently appeared opposite Dr Carter just as ER started to go downhill, coincidence?

2004 Crash - A film about how racism is bad and effects many different classes of society in everyday situations - Holy Shit really? I thought racism only occurred in prison on the feast of Scotchtoberfest.

2004 The Chronicles of Riddick - Pitch Black was good this was really bad, but in all fairness that was probably also down to Vin Diesel being self indulgent.

2000 Mission Impossible 2 - 1 and 3 are actually rather good. This movie is overly simplistic and clearly built around a poxy motorcycle chase, it's best described as mucky.

1994 Interview with a vampire - This didn't suck, but that's probably because the combined efforts of Brad Pitt, Christian Slater and Tom Cruise kept it afloat. Yes even Antonio Banderas half arsed acting can't ruin this.

So there we have it that's my theory. Now for once I'm not absolutely certain in my convictions instead I ask you the question:

Thandie Newton albatross of cinema or some random actress?

I stole this from popjustice.com

This is the Girl Aloud press release for their greatest hits.



It is probably one of the greatest contemporary things I have ever ever read. And supposedly it was written by Nicola (the ginger one). SO with this in mind I hereby declare this: Nicola Roberts I've always found you attractive (even though my friends claimed you looked sickly and had a fish head) but I figured we were mentally incompatible. If you did indeed write that press release we are in fact very compatible and I will actually marry you - FACT.

(Disclaimer: If on the other hand someone from the marketing department wrote that, then congratulations you have smashed the delicate illusion I envisaged around Girls Aloud and I'll never trust a televisual manufactured pop band again - ever).

Uber quick update

A) Transformers was great - an over solid 8/10 - yer it was flawed but it was really cool and visually arresting, so go see it. Oh and even if you hate the cheesey bits you'll have to admit that special effects wise it's spectacular.
B) The Simpsons movie was well plotted but just not as funny as it should have been 6/10.
C) Kate Nash' single Foundations must be absolutely blindingly brilliant as pretty much every person I've spoken to loves it (even some of my metal head friends) so well done her 8/10.
D) Turns out Waitrose Tropical fruit juice is an excellent Um Bongo substitute (it tastes exactly the same) so thus the problem was solved.

That is all.