You've probably noticed I haven't updated this in weeks, that's because I haven't had anything to say - you see nothing interesting has happened it's all been very boring.
That was until today when I went to the cinema, where (as well as seeing a film) I also saw a trailer for Simon Pegg's new movie Run Fat Boy Run.
Now I find Simon Pegg a funny guy. I also find Dylan Moran who he is co starring with a funny guy. But the trailer looked remarkably unfunny and I couldn't work out what could ruin the comedic combination of Pegg and Moran.
And then I saw it - Thandie Newton.
Now I'm not saying that Thandie Newton is a terrible actress who can't act in films - that's just mean - I'm just saying any film she is in becomes crap. She is like the albatross from the Rime (spelt correctly) of the Ancient Mariner (you shoot her with a camera (not crossbow) and immediately your film becomes cursed).
Anyway enough of that let's look at the body of evidence to back up my theory (please bear in mind I'm only using films I've actually seen).
2006 The Pursuit of Happyness - Will Smith plays on human emotions and tries to win an Oscar.
2005/2004 ER - Yes that's right she starred in the TV show ER, infact she conveniently appeared opposite Dr Carter just as ER started to go downhill, coincidence?
2004 Crash - A film about how racism is bad and effects many different classes of society in everyday situations - Holy Shit really? I thought racism only occurred in prison on the feast of Scotchtoberfest.
2004 The Chronicles of Riddick - Pitch Black was good this was really bad, but in all fairness that was probably also down to Vin Diesel being self indulgent.
2000 Mission Impossible 2 - 1 and 3 are actually rather good. This movie is overly simplistic and clearly built around a poxy motorcycle chase, it's best described as mucky.
1994 Interview with a vampire - This didn't suck, but that's probably because the combined efforts of Brad Pitt, Christian Slater and Tom Cruise kept it afloat. Yes even Antonio Banderas half arsed acting can't ruin this.
So there we have it that's my theory. Now for once I'm not absolutely certain in my convictions instead I ask you the question:
Thandie Newton albatross of cinema or some random actress?
1 comment:
Hear Hear. Contray to what you say though, I think she is a terrible actress because watching her you can see her trying to act. She seems to have an idea what acting is supposed to be and gets into a mode of creative rigidity.
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