Friday, September 29, 2006
They've just tried to remake Grease
Well for all those who haven't I'll tell you about it.
A straight to TV movie made by the Disney channel it follows the exploits of the new girl at school and the captain of the basketball team auditioning for the leads in a musical at said High school.
In the States it's a massive thing with it scoring 9 singles in the top ten or twenty or something like that.
Basically I saw it this evening and it's a bit good. I mean it must be good containing lines such as:
Chad Danforth "You can't be in the muscial Troy your the basketball captain not a singer".
Troy Bolton "Dammit can't I be both?"
See amusing and dramatic and it's like that the whole way through. Infact it's almost as dramatic as the Top Gun 2 script I've got ideas for - one of these days.
Anyway here's a list of why it's good.
A) The beginning is a complete rip off of Grease.
B) The whole movie is quite a rip off of Grease.
C) They never actually make a musical (it's about the auditions).
D) The male lead (character name - Troy Bolton) looks like Mark Hamill
E) It is filled with Neighbours style acting (ie overly dramatic)
F) The director is listed as a Director/Choreographer - so he must know what he's doing.
Here is why it's bad
1) No big screen kiss at the end - all musicals should end with one it's tradition.
2) Post credits there is a really odd coda.
Well here is the end sequence.
Hopefully after seeing this you'll want to see the entire thing (it's being shown on the BBC over Christmas). Oh and this routine looks like it's stolen off of the opening of Bring it on.
Update: That last video has been removed from youtube by someone (probably Disney - though it is television so it should techinically be in the public domain). Anyway watch this fan made thing it is brilliant.
Monday, September 25, 2006
A real update - not one of those fake ones I've been doing
So today I've tried to rectify this by adding videos but putting in my own written content to link the two together.
Anyway Girls Aloud are great!
They seem to be a proper genuine pop phenomenon the kind that just doesn't seem to be about anymore. Most pop acts these days seem to be either serious vocal acts (the Sugar Babes), shitty pop punk esq bands (Fall Out Boy (not real emo)) or Lily Allen and Sandi Thom (there's a genre there but I'm too tired to work it out, oh and by the way I do quite like Lilly Allen - she's alright). But Girls Aloud are old school generic fun pop music from girls who are nice to look at and aren't that strong vocally.
Yes, so Girls Aloud if you have noticed they are the only real survivors from the crazy world of Popstars/Pop idol and X factor. (Apart from Will Young and Myleen Klauss who for the sake of this article I'm ignoring). And although it's obvious why they are popular (I've told you back in the previous paragraph ( - they're old school) I'm going to use some videos to illustrate the other reasons they're excellent.
That's their performance of Jingle bell rock it illustrates the fact they are dead hot and sugary sweet. It's like eating lava with canderel.
That's their "live" performance of Jump on this show they did for T4 where they went and performed in people's hometowns. Needless to say the show was shite. If channel 4 want to make shows for Teenagers/Students they should employ me as I'm cheap to employ and I wouldn't make the mistakes most of these show designers do (ie using June Sarpong as a presenter). Anyway what's important here is that Girls Aloud must have a choreographer who finds it amusing to make them start and end in hilharious statue esq positions (you might not be able to view the end it may be corrupted - sorry).
That's their new single Something kinda ooh. This illustarates the fact they can't really dance or that their choreographer is a git and wants to make them look stupid.
So in conclusion Girls Aloud are superb based entirely on the fact they are manufactured, attractive and funny leading me to believe I should be dating some kind of sexually appealing clown robot.
Oh and just to answer the most important question (who is (are) my favourite(s) Girls Alouder) - Cherryl Tweedy and Nicola Roberts are the best. Tweedy because she is blatantly the hottest. Nicola I've no idea (according to one of my mates it's because my brain thinks she is the least popular one and I'd have more of a chance with her. (This may or may not be true my mind is an idiot)).
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Cheap update 1
So their new show the Mitchell and Webb look is thus brilliant.
I figure that some people forgot to see it or haven't seen this superb duo before so I present to you some of this genius:
Well that's it for today. Come back soon for more cheap updates.
Friday, September 08, 2006
BTW: MTV, ATDI and RGB FYI :P (Yes I feel dirty and ashamed with that kind of title)
This is a sign the summer is finally over I'm actually starting to use this blog again.
Anyway apparently teenagers aren't watching the shows that are actually being made for them (that's why Top of the pops got cancelled - teenagers weren't watching it) instead they're wasting their time with Desperate Housewives.
So after hearing this I started to get a bit worried that there would be no more teenage shows (think about it no OC, no T4, no Hollyoaks). But then I realised there would always be MTV, their entire output is shows for teenagers (granted American teenagers). MTV have got loads of money so there is no way they'll go bankrupt and they'll never change so they will make shows for teenagers for as long as western society survives.
Well anywho after thinking MTV were great I decided to watch more of their shows. And that's when I finally realised that pretty much the majority of their output is actually diabolical. I could write the whole list of dreadful dreadful shows they make but the highlight for me is a show called MADE.
Basically horrible loser teenagers try and achieve something that they just weren't meant to do: The social outcast nerd (with no balance and a complex about her looks) tries to become the cheerleader, the non cheerleader tries to become the homecoming Queen and they had a girl become an American football player (just to clarify I've no problem with girls playing American football but she was playing against guys which I'm sure is not legally allowed). Anyway bottom line is it's retarded but funny. I couldn't find any footage of MADE but I found this spoof which like all good spoofs is damn close to the original.
Bizarrely the soundtrack to the real Made features repeated use of 10 second exerts of different songs one of which was Invalid Litter Dept by At the Drive In which I have to say is one of the greatest songs EVER from one of the best albums EVER.
Here is some ATDI footage off French TV. A live performance of One armed Scissor followed by Invalid Litter Dept.
And yes the sound is a little off but it's all about the performance.
And finally something completely un MTV related. I found this footage of The Real Ghostbusters edited together with some German song.
I just thought it was neat.
It's official the internet is the scariest place ever
Just as I was logging off I got contacted by one of my chums who runs a clothing line for mountain biking and such. (Rythumandflow.co.uk)
He just found this video on youtube.com
Disclaimer: This video is not for squeemish people it's a bit nasty.
Anyway we have no idea who this guy is he's not sponsored by rythumandflow.co.uk and we have no idea why he found that necessary.
The internet can be a weird weird place.
Update: Found out how this all came about. That guy knew a friend of a friend and heard about rythumandflow.co.uk and chucked it in when he decided to do that. (Still don't understand why that was necessary). Anyway just for a moment that was really rather freaky.
(And yeah even though the mystery was solved I'll keep this update simply because it's the only legitimate not encouraging violence kind of way to include a video like that. This also provides an excellent way to shoehorn in rythumandflow.co.uk (just like The Sun does, making an advert look like an article).
Transformers a religious symbol in disguise
I recently bought the Transformers movie on DVD for the bargain price of £5 and it was worth every one of those 500 pennies (or 1000 half pennies). It's a really funny film with amusing dialogue and an amazing soundtrack. It's filled with 80s power rock tunes and when combined with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles soundtrack of "white" hip hop provides a musical overview of the late 80s / early 90s. Also just worth a mention one of the tracks on Tranformers: the movie is provided by Weird Al Yankovic, so does that mean it's ironic? I just don't know.
Anyway after watching the film I went on to reading up on Tranformers via wikipedia just to see how many seasons there were how long it ran for - that kind of stuff. It was after I scrolled the page to the bottom that my head metaphorically exploded. The Transformers universe is absolutley massive there's so many spin offs and back stories I was at a complete loss.
And people say kids don't learn anything from TV.
Also worth a mention Tranformers: the movie was Orson Welles last film (he died in the middle of recording his voice for it) which also proves the angel of death has a sense of humour.
So weeks later I show Transformers to one of my good chums. He points at the TV and shouts (in the Optimus Prime Vs Megatron sequence (2:40 on this video)).
"Look he's shot in the side, you know what that is? It's a Christ reference!"
Just to explain Christ was pierced in his side by the lance of Longinus. So now any side wound equals a Christ reference.
Well anyway I thought back to my Ten commandments - thou shalt worship no false idols (well thats the modern take on it).
And thought yeah, maybe we have made Optimus Prime a false Idol he's a robot and a truck.
A man and machine.
Think about it...
(For all of you who are confused I'm being profound).
You Know this song deserves to be no.1
And today is no exception...
Earlier on at the beginning of June I was championing this song as my "official" song of the summer. But then it disappeared, without a trace.
But now it has re-appeared and this time with a video!
SO watch this:
The band are called Superjupiter and they are Norwegian.
You know (that's the single's name) is out on October 23rd
I hope this single goes to No.1
And I demand all the Djs I know (all of one) to play this song in their sets.
(Interestingly I did used to know more Djs but I haven't seen them in ages).
(Also interestingly when I previously said interestingly I meant boringly).
Friday, September 01, 2006
The Mint
I'm currently watching the Mint which is a really rather shite gameshow on ITV which starts at late o'clock and ends at stupid o'clock. I'm not going to go into the details of the show because trust me you really won't care. I'm here to talk about the one highlight of the entire show...
Cat Porter...
In these lonely early mornings of the summer I find myself wanting to have dinner conversation (not a eupherism) with Cat Porter. She makes the mint watchable and these are the reasons why she's great.
1. She wears evening dresses.
2. She has a nice accent.
3. She lives in Tunbridgewells (which is not that far from me)
4. She was an extra in James Bond - Die another day (to be honest that's just a fact not really a reason to like her).
5. She tells the worst anecdotes ever (that's endearing).
6. She has a degree from Kings College in biological sciences (and I wouldn't mind lighting her bunsen burner (and that is a eupherism) although in all honesty not a very good one more of a chemistry one than a biology one)).
French people don't wear converse
However it also has a band playing whenever the train to Disneyland Paris departs. Seeing men in Lederhosen with tubas and banjos playing "It's a small world after all" at 8am is just not cool and liable to give you a headache. (Also Lederhosen are obviously German not French so I didn't quite get why they were dressed like that - maybe they just liked it?)
So anyway as the title suggests I didn't see a single person in France wearing a pair of Converse. I found that rather strange. ( It's stranger still as one of my mates tells me all the French people he knows wear Converse. (Just to clarify, it probably seems a bit odd that I'm going on about Converse but they are just such cool shoes and I keep seeing them all over the place .... even when I close my eyes. Ha ha again I joke when I close my eyes I see Nikes and those hideous images of Cream the rabbit)).
So back to talking about my trip. While I was there I was eating dinner when my Grandmother suddenly says to me; (by the way my Grandmother was there at dinner with me she didn't just start talking to me from "beyond the grave" or anything). "Do you ever say or do supid things?" And I say (because I'm feeling honest) "Yes actually I do all the time." To which she replies "I was just wondering because on one side of our family there is a real streak of doing and saying stupid things. Your father does stupid things, your uncles do stupid things and your father's cousins do stupid things. Infact when I was at a family reunion I spoke to a relative of ours who was telling me their son says and does stupid things all the time - so it definitely runs in our family".
My reaction to this was not one of dismay but of acceptance. The next time I look back on doing something and think "that was really stupid" I won't get embarrassed I'll just shrug my shoulders and think "well I was always going to do something stupid it is inherently in my nature" - you see it's brilliant I can blame everything on genetics, explain to everyone my stupidity is due to genetics and never have to accept responsibility for some of my behaviour. Now if I can just find that my family is genetically inclined to being Pretentious, Depressing, Complaining, Hypercondriact, Emotionally Hypersensitive, Perverts I'll be sorted.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Nothings happening, nothings happening a lot of people look pissed (off).
Anyway a couple of important CD related dates. New Audioslave album 4th September (though I think the single is shite).
New Mars Volta album 11th September (no story this time just mad song writing and yeah I know they are an "aquired" taste).
New Sparta album 10th October (their new single Taking Back Control is on their myspace and is actually really good).
Also has anyone else seen that new police campaign for Community officers - it's awesome. There are hand drawn pictures of police officers staring off into the middle distance like heroes. It looks like the propaganda out of a fascist state or communist Russia.
Unfortuantely I don't have a picture of said propaganda because I can't seem to find one. (Unless I e-mail the police asking for it which just seemed mean as I was going to mock them over it).
So yeah keep an eye out for funny police recruitment posters.
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Have I been reduced to this? (Yeah, Yeah, Yeah)
Whenever I turn a music channel on it's always there waiting with its sparkly dresses, overtly sexual attitude, speakeasy drunkenness and red lips which are like some kind of sex beacon (Nelly Furtado is guilty of that too).
Anyway back to the topic, yer it just seems to be everywhere.
When I went away I was camping in a tent and yet I still managed to hear it on the campsite. And the other day I was in work and it came on the radio... except we don't have a radio at work. Someone had got it off the internet and burned it onto a CD!
Everytime I mention to anyone that this single seems to be following me I get told I'm obviously going insane as hardly anyone else has heard it - insantity is brilliant.
On the plus side in the middle of the song there's a section where Christina sings "Yeah yeah yeah" then follows it with a "No no no". I'm finding it mightily amusing to answer yes/no questions with those responses. Oh and when she wears that red jumper she looks like a blonde Jennifer Love Hewitt which is great because if you had both Christina Aguilera and Jennifer Love Hewitt you'd have light/dark twins and then you could walk around acting like Two Face from Batman Forever. (Except better than Batman Forever which was shit. (Yeah Yeah Yeah). It was no Batman Begins. (No No No)).
So in conclusion watch the video I find it annoying.
Friday, August 11, 2006
Explaining a few things
Well anyway what happened is one of my chums said my tone on here was a little negative and that I should write something positive. Infact he challenged me to write two positive posts which I did try to do. However on retrospect both Positive Post 1 and 2 sound really negative and sarcastic. And as we all know sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but then again wit is the highest form of intelligence so fuck it. (And in all honesty I do think Wallace is a decent town and that Llamas are great).
So yes onto other things. I road tripped (via Corby) up to Edinburgh for a couple of days of the Fringe festival. I learned quite a lot on the trip which I figure I'll share with you:
Surrey and Edinburgh are roughly 7 1/2 hours away from each other which is a really long trip to do in a day.
Corby is a scary place with a history of murders and the pizza there is almost as good as Papa John's in Reigate.

The Fringe festival as well as being brilliant fun is expensive, pretentious and weird (see picture above).
Either Scotland has the largest population of attractive women per square inch or it's that the Fringe encourages drama students which are the hottest type of students.
Above is an example of the kind of attractive girl available there. (I took a photo of her from the bushes....ha ha ha I'm just joking I was sitting on a bench).
The drama dept of Cambridge Uni are damn good actors but when they put on plays translated from the works of Kafka the audience has an uncomfortable and on occasion unintentionally hilharious viewing experience. Also I may have made the lighting director uncomfortable by continuously leering at her, basically she was hot and my eyes took on a mind of their own....stupid eyes.
Finally if you take a paper mache cat with you and take it out your bag people will gather round you and assume you are going to put on a play. (The cat's name is Spuffy she likes views, we found her in my room before we left and figured we'd take her for some reason).
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Positive Post 2
Unless you said llama you are wrong.
(Although you get half points for the following: Platypus, Flesh eating Kangaroo, Grimace from the crazy world of McDonalds or Rush the dog from Megaman).
So anyway Llamas are great. You can ride them, they spit and Disney made a whole film about a man becoming one (Emperor's New Groove).
So I was exceedingly impressed and happy to know about Llama trekking in the Surrey Hills (which is near where I live).
What happens is you go and pay these people money, then you and a guide take the Llamas for a walk in the forest. You can't ride the llamas (you pull them on a leash) but they carry a picnic, which you stop and eat halfway through the walk. The best thing is these llama people (llama farmers?) organise all kinds of events. You can have:
A Kids birthday party
A corporate event
A winter morning trek
A summer evening trek
The luxury champagne picnic trek (they recommend this as a wedding gift)
Also you can go repeatedy as all the llamas have different personalities so if you choose a different one each time you get a whole new experience.

Doesn't everyone look happy?

That's Grimace from McDonalds. Interestingly I don't grimace when I'm eating a McDonalds it's usually afterwards when I feel lke I've eaten a bowling ball, and I always feel like this no matter how much I've eaten.

Rush is Megaman's dog he's the shit because he can fly, and has a spring which comes out his back, he's basically a dog tranformer. Which is more impressive than anything your dog can do isn't it?
Friday, July 28, 2006
Positive Post 1
The reason for the delayed absence is I have been "researching" topics to write about. (When I say researching I mean reading internet articles).
Anyway pull up a chair, sit down, take your shoes off and smoke a pipe as a will tell you a story.
In the State of Idaho lies a town called Wallace. It's a pretty ordinary small town in one of the fly-over states however it houses one of the greatest claims to fame ever...
It is the centre of the universe...
Just think about that for a minute, the centre of the whole universe, how amazing is that?
And it's not just that which is great about Wallace as per usual here is a breakdown list of great facts:
1) Dante's Peak was filmed there and the local were paid extras.
2) Only 960 people live there compared to the 1 million trees in the valley.
3) Wallace is famous for its brothels (the last of which closed in 1988) now it just has brothel museums.
4) The sraight freeway connecting both sides of the USA curves round Wallace - it is that good.
5) The guy who owns the hotel calls himself the Primeminister - he started doing this on a whim.
6) In the 70s Wallace was a silver mining area which was highly polluted (obviously due to the mining). When the mines were eventually closed everything re grew so the area is evironmentally stable and beautiful.
7) The town has a by-law which allows snowmobiles to be driven on the roads round there.
So there u go Wallace is a super excellent place which has a load of random stuff going on.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Watch this video without question
They were some "pop band" with "Uk Garage roots" (although it was always debatable whether Uk garage was a genuine genre).
Anyway check this video, it is the new single from Alesha Dixon the MC from Mis-Teeq. (She used to put on an excellent Shaggy/Sean Paul esq voice).
Watched it? Did you understand the songs appeal?
Well here is why I like it.
1) An excellent rock guitar riff.
2) That woah woah bit is good.
3) The bridge comes out of nowhere and doesn't fit the rest of the song.
4) It's the kind of pop song the Lostprophets would cover.
5) The song finishes with the guitar on its own.
It's like a beautiful modern pop/rock hybrid and that should be saluted and encouraged.
If you have a spare 25 mins
It is a short anime film called Voices of a Distant Star.
I think it won some awards somewhere or something.
Just in case you need more persuasion here is the blurb (don't know if it's the exact one off the back of the box).
"When a mysterious alien force begins their annihilation of the human race, a young pilot feels called to join the resistance. But the danger of an interstellar battle is not Mikako's greatest concern. For she has left behind the one young man she loves. And as Mikako flies further into deep space, her only way to connect with Noboru is by cell-phone text messages. While Mikako risks her life to save mankind, Noboru waits. At first days, then months, then years for each new message that will let him know whether Mikako is still alive. And while she barely grows older in the timelessness of space, Noboru ages. How can the love of two young people, torn apart by war, survive? To what distance would you go...for your one, true love?"
Oh and you may need to watch it full screen (actually on Youtube.com) as occasionally the subtitles can get blurry.
Part 1 running time 9mins 22secs
Part 2 running time 9mins 5secs
Part 3 running time 6mins 34secs
Monday, July 17, 2006
I read this and figured it was wrong
There is so much to dislike about her but I kind of already knew that - this article just pushed me over the edge. It had become quite apparent to me that Miss Hilton thinks she is excellent and has (in her own words) "suffered enough through life" and can "finally allow herself" to be happy. She sells herself as some kind of "brand" but it's just stuff man - where's the substance? She thinks she'll be remembered forever but she hasn't earned the right for legendary status. Also I've watched her try to manipulate people on Tv and she sucks at it.
On the plus side she dated Edward Furlong who is an absolute hero because he played the young John Connor who led the human resistance in Terminator 2. Then when Terminator 3 was in production and he was old enough to carry on the role from whence he left off, he wasn't used because he was a "mad bad boy drug addict" - awesome stuff a genuine role model.

In the words of Leopold "Butters" Scotch "Well you are kinda pretty Miss Hilton even if you do have a big nose."
Then after reading this annoying article I went on to read something equally as annoying entitled - The Top Ten Golden rules of Myspace - the following contains the authors rules and my interpretation of why they are factually incorrect.
1) It's about quantity not quality - Wrong - If you're trying to impress people on Myspace it's a lot better to have 100,000 friends instead of 1 obviously. Also no one is going to sift 100,000 people in great detail.
2) Never request a Myspace Cliche as your friend - Wrong - Request anyone you like don't be different for the sake of it that's just stupid.
3) If you're not going to do this properly don't do it at all - A big lie - I only use my Myspace profile for fishing and not for showing off - that is what the blog is for.
4) Think long and hard before filling in your profile and update is regularly - Lies - Honestly no one cares that much about your Myspace, update it when you are bored this keeps things varied.
5) Be careful with friends requests you don't know - an untruth - You could be careful or you could go crazy and mix things up a bit.
6) Live the Myspace lifestyle - Yer see everything in black and white, pull stupid poses and make sure you only appear at certain angles.
7) Use Myspace as a dating tool if you like, but only after the fact - that's not even a sentence - idiots - I assume the author means only use Myspace on a person after you've started dating. Please ignore this, search anyone you want on Myspace Tom designed it with stalking in mind.
8) Never use ironic music in your profile - No - ALWAYS use ironic music it reminds people of the classics missing from their collection.
9) Be careful not to offend actual best friends - Don't rotate your top eight. If they're your real friends they will understand why your top eight is filled with porn stars and trashy models.
10) Keep your friends international - Look it's harder to communicate with international people (you are less likely to have things in common) so by communicating nationally you're not stifling your creativity.
And finally to close I'll point out that Facebook is cooler than Myspace simply because of its elitest entry system which only allows you to be a member if you attend a certain university (you have to use a specific university e-mail address).
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Smells like July
So here I am to spoil you with another thrilling update.
Except nothing has happened again this week.
So I figured I'd throw you the bones of what could be called some enticing tales.
So I went to my vilage fair which contained rides and balloons. But the Ferris wheel was overpriced, the stalls were overpriced, hardly any of my friends were there and the candyfloss tasted like sugarless crap and the fireworks were cancelled (due to the ground being too dry). On the plus side I saw a carny folk who I think I recognised.
The only other interesting thing that happened is on Popworld Alex Zane said he was going to Hull on holiday but I think he may have been lying.
After all Alex Zane has the face of a liar.

Alex Zane - he's not the Phantom or as the bloke out of Titanic (that's Billy Zane) he is just a liar.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Fun times with weapons
It didn't mean this at all.
But I'm not here to talk about "facts and newspaper articles and world affairs". Today I'm discussing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 and 3 (the movie sequels).
(Just as a quick fact when it came to the cartoons Ninja was used in America. Hero was used in the UK as Ninja was deemed too violent sounding for kids).
I'm not going to review the movies (the negative critique would put a downer on the article) so as per usual I'm going to write about the movie's plus points.
1) The Turtles are comedy characters who occasionally take down their advesaries with wet willies.
2) The never use their weapons for fighting, Leonardo is more likely to cut a rope bridge with his sword than stab someone.
3) Splinter the rat looks more like a weasel (than a rat).
4) Both films feature the turtles doing bad ass dance routines.
5) A super hip hop soundtrack is involved and proved once again it is a necessity.
6) No one dies apart from the lead bad guys.
7) The Turtles have the best pithy banter ever.
(Specific to 2nd film)
A) Vanilla Ice is in it.
B) Hopefually that shitty side kick kid never worked again.

(specific to 3rd film)
A) In 17th Century feudal Japan everyone speaks 90s coloquial American.
B) It just seems random that they end up going back in time.
c) Turtles 3 doesn't really follow on from 2.
D) The actor who plays Casey Jones in Turtles 3 plays another part which means the film has a crappy budget.

The only things I didn't like about the two sequels are: Casey Jones is in the third one and doesn't beat up anyone (that's all he's good at). And in the 2nd one the Bebop and Rocksteady mutants are replaced by shitty mutants.
Still both movies are better than that stupid live action Turtles series with that fifth female Turtle.
So in conclusion humans have fought for hundreds of years. Then giant human turtle hybrids have been around a relatively short time and bring peace through fighting. Thus they are the next evolutionary step.
(Splinter is just an evolutionary mess, like the animals found in Australia).
This proves to me the 90s was a new exciting time for film.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Yeah... Capital City
(This 1st update is based in my real life which probably means it won't be that hiharious or entertaining, but that's the summer for you.)
Anyway my Great Aunt phoned up about two weeks ago and asked if I wanted to accompany her Grandson on a trip to London. I of course agreed as figured a trip to London would be a hoot and a holler (it's not really a main part of the story but The Grandson is Greek, and yer he does speak English).
So I listed the help of one of my mates who studies in London. So me and the Grandson met my friend at Waterloo station. I'm not going to go into huge of details of where we went in London because in all honesty it's not very interesting. But I will explain to you the end part of the evening.
I had decided the best evenings entertainment was to be found at "Club Justice". A nightclub in Soho that most of the week was a gay bar, I figured that on Friday's it was a bar that was sometimes gay. (Also I had looked at the Pop Jutsice messageboards and got a brief description of said club - unless of course it was all a cunning ploy to entice me). Well as it turned out we got to the door and the doormen announced it was a gay bar so we left with me complaning about how it didn't say that on the website.
We ended up in the Metro Club and although it got busier it was still pretty damn quiet I think we probably would've had a more exciting time at Club Justice. So eventually we left (the club) and the Grandson didn't look impressed, my friend didn't look impressed I wasn't impressed.
Then while waiting for the bus some Bride to be was chucking up on the pavement with her friends shouting "She's getting married tomorrow!".
So as a final note I think I undersold London quite nicely.