Daily Dilbert part 1

It's time to prove I'm as skilled as Alan Davis

Hello Everyone
I'm exceedingly busy so I'll have to be quick.
First of all it was the 2nd year birthday of this blog on the 18th April. An achievement I know. (that's got to be worth at least 100 gamer points (sorry that's an Xbox 360 joke)).
But in all seriousness if you do read this regularly (when I do bother updating) thanks. It is so awesome when people comment and help massage my bouncy Ollie (some fat kid when I was at school) sized ego.

Anyway Dilbert is a pretty famous cartoon in national newspapers across the world. Dilbert.com has a section where you can add the end box (or punchline) to the end of the daily updated comic strip. so for a few days I may be adding to this blog my own take on the crazy world of business (also I hope you can actually read the blurry text).
So enjoy.

This update is purely for informative purposes, normal service will resume shortly.

Youtube is running a comedy skit competition at the moment. The rules of the competition were to make a sketch that was about a roadtrip and somehow featured a musical instrument. I think the sketches were all done by amateaur members of the public (although some of them do look a little too professionally done).
So I've included the sketches which I thought were funniest on this blog.















The competition is in the semi-finals stage at the moment so members of the public (ie you) need to vote for sketches they like the most the winner gets an amount of money. Cick here or if that doesn't work www.youtube.com/sketchies2

Even if you don't vote you can always just watch these sketches just to piss some time away - and isn't that what's important here?

I think the only person this post is going to appeal to is future me, but tough.

The other day I was reading an article on Cracked.com entitled 5 Important Lessons Learned from Street Fighter 2 the article was mildly funny as per usual (I should point out there are some absolute brilliant comedy bits nestled deep in cracked.com which is why I have now added a link to this website in the sidebar).

Anyway about two thirds of the way down the article I found a picture of these guys.

These dudes are Kid n Play and they were a comedy rap duo from 1983-1993. The reason I bring them up is that they were in a cartoon I used to watch when I was a kid and it's taken me over 10 years to findout who the hell they are or were.
I won't explain the format of the cartoon but everytime I tried to explain it to anyone they told me kid was Vanilla Ice - people are such idiots.


That's the beginnning of a show and the into


That's the full song Rollin with Kid n Play

Also it must be said that Kid's hair is "off the hook".

Previously on pancake day

It seems to be the curse of the blogger that whenever they say "I'm going to update this blog more regularly" that infact what happens is they take the longest time possible to write a following update.
This has happened to yours truly and it is only now do I realise I haven't written a single update for February.... how annoying.

Still nevermind, we all have our crosses to bear and I'm sure I'll get over it.

Anyway February 5th (or Pancake day) saw Scottish band Biffy Clyro perform an impromptu acoustic gig which I was lucky enough to witness. And yes they were very good and stuff and I've included a couple of pictures for whoever it interested.







But this blog doesn't review gigs. Infact usually what happens is it complains about stuff. Which is what is about to occur:

1. The BBC are pissing licence fee money away on the TV programme Sound.
On Saturday afternoons there is this TV show called Sound which is basically the BBC trying to make a music show to engage with Teenagers. It's shite. Really shite. Nearly all the performances get interrupted with talking or they only show 30 seconds of the band playing. The Biffy Clyro acoustic gig was on Sound the following Saturday and featured only a fraction of the footage taken, (I know how much was filmed I was there in the audience having to put up with camera getting in my bloody way).
Also the male presenter Nick Grimshaw is an arsehole click here to see why you should hate him as much as I do.

2. Couples at gigs. I'm a sad bitter old man - that is a given but even when I was younger and hadn't had my heart crushed by a riotous stream of idiot bitches I hated couples at gigs. Why you ask? Because two people supposedly in love always seem to be lauding it over you - there's no hand holding, that's too subtle what we need is full on face suckering and always during the most inappropriate song.

For instance I like Glassjaw. Now I know for a fact that a load of the singers songs are about not being able to get a girlfriend due to his terrible bowel illness. It would be at a point during an "I'm so bitter, I keep pooing and can't get a girlfriend song" that the stupid couple in question would get off with each other.

So how would the singer in Glassjaw feel about that? It's just rubbing it in his face - and that is just spiteful.
So the next time you are enjoying a band with your girlfriend remember hand holding and cuddling is ok but a larger showing of affection is impudent behaviour.

Block Party

I'll start this with an apology (you wouldn't believe how often I have to say that).

I'm sorry I have not been updating this blog as regularly as I should have been, but in my defence I have been pretty busy. (Well busy in a watching movies and playing videogames kind of way).
But now I'm taking a stand and I'm going to update more regularly. (In all fairness I'm not expecting you to really care that much, but if I keep this lack of updating going you'll stop reading this blog and my ego will become hugely deflated).
So yes more regular updates.

Anyway....
Lego was 50 years old on the 28th of January and I have to say those blocks are ageing well, they don't look a day over 25, they haven't lost their shape, the sides are still firm and the nobbly bits on the top are still pert.
So to celebrate this momentous occasion I stole some videos off youtube which involve cool Lego things, so watch these and learn something:





1st did you see how quickly that elastic band gun fires? How cool is that?
2nd That level from Super Mario Brothers isn't quite correct but that must have taken ages to film, so I'll let him get away with the lack of accuracy.

The funniest thing to happen in the history of Australia

Oh yeah this is the 1st post of the New Year so Happy New Year.

So this 16 year old kid throws a party in Melbourne and 500 teenagers turn up. They all get drunk make loads of noise in the street.
The police get called, then have to retreat as the 500 teenagers throw bottles at them.
It takes 30 police, the police dog squad and a helicopter to restore calm. An estimate $20 000 (Austrailian money) worth of damage is done. But as amusing as all that is, it's this youtube video of the kid who threw the party that makes me laugh the most.



He is just such a little shit, who is clearly not sorry for anything that's happened. Still on the plus side those sun glasses are awesome.

You should have said no to Leon Jackson

This is by a band called Reuben and the song is called "Christmas is Awesome"
It also should have been Christmas no.1
I have to say I am a fan of their previous work (which kind of increases my enjoyment of this song).



Well all that is left to say is: Merry Christmas to you all.

Sequels that should exist: Part 2

Again they are making a an Indiana Jones 4 but I'd be grossly surprised if the film is going to be anything like my idea.

Indiana Jones: The Bronzed Kingdom of Connery



Plot synopsis: Indiana Jones is running away from some Nazis. (If you've seen any of the films you'll know he does this a lot). On this particular occasion he boards a small plane which then crash lands on Barbados in an uninhabited region (Indy doesn't know it's Barbados). When Indy finally finds civilisation on the island he finds that none other than Sean Connery (being Sean Connery not Indy's father) has taken this town and the whole island and is forcing the inhabitants to build a giant statue of himself. Most of the movie is taken up with Connery and Ford trying to beat each other in a game of wits (face it Harrison Ford is getting on I'm not sure I want him to do the more physical stunts). Anyway this game of wits escalates into Connery and Ford fighting on the open palm of the giant golden statue. The twist of the tale is Connery beats Ford and knocks him off the hand of the statue. Indiana Jones dies, Connery wins. No more delayed sequels can be made and I remain happy, the end.

Most memorable scene: When Indy fights Sean Connery on the open palm of the giant Sean Connery statue.
Moral: Harrison Ford is not as great as Sean Connery and this proves it.
Possible spin off: The crazy time traveling adventures of Lucas and Spielberg. These two giants of film go through the archives of their work trying to find old franchises they can re spark, if you're lucky maybe a sequel to Howard the Duck will get made (The Horror, The Horror).