Nothings happening, nothings happening a lot of people look pissed (off).

It's still obvious to me it's August (despite the shitty weather) because nothing interesting has happened - August is a boring month in the world of me.
Anyway a couple of important CD related dates. New Audioslave album 4th September (though I think the single is shite).
New Mars Volta album 11th September (no story this time just mad song writing and yeah I know they are an "aquired" taste).
New Sparta album 10th October (their new single Taking Back Control is on their myspace and is actually really good).

Also has anyone else seen that new police campaign for Community officers - it's awesome. There are hand drawn pictures of police officers staring off into the middle distance like heroes. It looks like the propaganda out of a fascist state or communist Russia.

Unfortuantely I don't have a picture of said propaganda because I can't seem to find one. (Unless I e-mail the police asking for it which just seemed mean as I was going to mock them over it).

So yeah keep an eye out for funny police recruitment posters.

Have I been reduced to this? (Yeah, Yeah, Yeah)

Christina Aguilera's current single (Ain't No Other Man) has been harrassing me ever since its video release. I don't even like it.
Whenever I turn a music channel on it's always there waiting with its sparkly dresses, overtly sexual attitude, speakeasy drunkenness and red lips which are like some kind of sex beacon (Nelly Furtado is guilty of that too).
Anyway back to the topic, yer it just seems to be everywhere.
When I went away I was camping in a tent and yet I still managed to hear it on the campsite. And the other day I was in work and it came on the radio... except we don't have a radio at work. Someone had got it off the internet and burned it onto a CD!
Everytime I mention to anyone that this single seems to be following me I get told I'm obviously going insane as hardly anyone else has heard it - insantity is brilliant.

On the plus side in the middle of the song there's a section where Christina sings "Yeah yeah yeah" then follows it with a "No no no". I'm finding it mightily amusing to answer yes/no questions with those responses. Oh and when she wears that red jumper she looks like a blonde Jennifer Love Hewitt which is great because if you had both Christina Aguilera and Jennifer Love Hewitt you'd have light/dark twins and then you could walk around acting like Two Face from Batman Forever. (Except better than Batman Forever which was shit. (Yeah Yeah Yeah). It was no Batman Begins. (No No No)).

So in conclusion watch the video I find it annoying.

Explaining a few things

I've been away for a few days hence the lack of updates but I think people have still been reading this blog which is good... however I feel an explanantion is due on the last two posts due to them being a little odd.

Well anyway what happened is one of my chums said my tone on here was a little negative and that I should write something positive. Infact he challenged me to write two positive posts which I did try to do. However on retrospect both Positive Post 1 and 2 sound really negative and sarcastic. And as we all know sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but then again wit is the highest form of intelligence so fuck it. (And in all honesty I do think Wallace is a decent town and that Llamas are great).

So yes onto other things. I road tripped (via Corby) up to Edinburgh for a couple of days of the Fringe festival. I learned quite a lot on the trip which I figure I'll share with you:

Surrey and Edinburgh are roughly 7 1/2 hours away from each other which is a really long trip to do in a day.

Corby is a scary place with a history of murders and the pizza there is almost as good as Papa John's in Reigate.

The Fringe festival as well as being brilliant fun is expensive, pretentious and weird (see picture above).

Either Scotland has the largest population of attractive women per square inch or it's that the Fringe encourages drama students which are the hottest type of students.


Above is an example of the kind of attractive girl available there. (I took a photo of her from the bushes....ha ha ha I'm just joking I was sitting on a bench).

The drama dept of Cambridge Uni are damn good actors but when they put on plays translated from the works of Kafka the audience has an uncomfortable and on occasion unintentionally hilharious viewing experience. Also I may have made the lighting director uncomfortable by continuously leering at her, basically she was hot and my eyes took on a mind of their own....stupid eyes.

Finally if you take a paper mache cat with you and take it out your bag people will gather round you and assume you are going to put on a play. (The cat's name is Spuffy she likes views, we found her in my room before we left and figured we'd take her for some reason).

Positive Post 2

What's the best animal in the world?

Unless you said llama you are wrong.
(Although you get half points for the following: Platypus, Flesh eating Kangaroo, Grimace from the crazy world of McDonalds or Rush the dog from Megaman).

So anyway Llamas are great. You can ride them, they spit and Disney made a whole film about a man becoming one (Emperor's New Groove).

So I was exceedingly impressed and happy to know about Llama trekking in the Surrey Hills (which is near where I live).
What happens is you go and pay these people money, then you and a guide take the Llamas for a walk in the forest. You can't ride the llamas (you pull them on a leash) but they carry a picnic, which you stop and eat halfway through the walk. The best thing is these llama people (llama farmers?) organise all kinds of events. You can have:
A Kids birthday party
A corporate event
A winter morning trek
A summer evening trek
The luxury champagne picnic trek (they recommend this as a wedding gift)

Also you can go repeatedy as all the llamas have different personalities so if you choose a different one each time you get a whole new experience.



Doesn't everyone look happy?



That's Grimace from McDonalds. Interestingly I don't grimace when I'm eating a McDonalds it's usually afterwards when I feel lke I've eaten a bowling ball, and I always feel like this no matter how much I've eaten.



Rush is Megaman's dog he's the shit because he can fly, and has a spring which comes out his back, he's basically a dog tranformer. Which is more impressive than anything your dog can do isn't it?